Exorcising rage may seem like a strange topic for your friendly neighborhood cleaner to write about. But sadly, I deal with rage-aholics everyday: driving to and from appointments, in homes, in businesses… Too many people seem highly reactive, unpredictable, controlling, insecure and addicted to rage.
I am human too. I also get angry when I see unfairness and abuse. Anger is a normal, often healthy, emotion. But, if I let it control me rather than the other way around, it can easily spin out of control and become a destructive waste of my precious time and and limited energy.
Save your energy for something more productive than rage
Experience has taught me that anger can and should be controlled, modulated, or at least well-oriented. So without further ado, here are a few simple truths that help me remember to save my energy for something more productive than rage.
- Before you get upset, ask yourself if your anger can turn things around. If the answer is no, Why bother? Anger that can’t be used to change things is a waste of energy! It doesn’t solve anything. It builds nothing, but it can destroy everything.
- Sometimes it is enough that you know you are right. It is not always necessary that everyone else agree with you.
- Reserve your rage for your enemies. Then remember that someone worthy to be called an enemy may enjoy your anger and the harm it causes you.
- Remember that road rage kills! Aggressive driving is dangerous and a temper tantrum isn’t going to intimidate heavy traffic into lightening up.
- Nobody is perfect but no one is beyond redemption. But, redeeming everyone singlehandedly isn’t my job, nor is it yours. Remember that nobody likes being bossed around or controlled.
- Try to understand others before judging them. I once heard a story about children misbehaving in a restaurant, while the father just sat there with a blank look on his face. They were chasing each other around noisily and disturbing the other diners until one of them had the courage to shake the father out of his fog: “Hey man! Control your kids! Are you blind and deaf or just inconsiderate?” The young man shook his head, looked up with bloodshot eyes and quietly said, “I’m so sorry. We just buried their mother…”
I’m a cleaner, not a shrink! So, if you want expert advice, read:
- Anger Management by The Mayo Clinic
- Controlling Anger Before It Controls You by The American Psychological Association
- And pray continually. Divine intervention might be the best choice for exorcising rage.
May the force be with you, but with quiet propriety.